Creating space for the joy that lingers.

Some uncommon advice for those seeking uncommon joy.

Photo by Rusty Watson on Unsplash

Good spirituality is concerned with the joy that lingers. It could be said that the lingering is actually the sign that the joy is true, connected to something enduring.

And arriving at this kind of joy is certainly an inside job.

The heart of spirituality, as I see it, is learning to create inner space so that a larger life can move in and through us - a love, wisdom, purpose, and power that already belong to us, yet are also beyond us. Receiving and embodying this larger life is our source of true joy.

My aim with The Inner Table is to explore how we can create inner space for this larger life to move through us. Sometimes that means doing the deep inner work - looking honestly at our fears, insecurities, and wounds. It can be uncomfortable and raw, but it’s the kind of work that clears the ground where joy can grow.

Creating space isn’t always hard. There are many simple, everyday ways to make room within so that joy has somewhere to land. One of the most reliable ways to do this is to let our attention move beyond the tight loop of “me.” Great joy can be found when we release ourselves from the exhausting cycle of self-absorption - what AA aptly calls “self-obsession.” The point isn’t to abandon yourself, but to cultivate a regular posture of looking up, out, and across. In many ways, whenever our attention rests on something greater than ourselves, we are already in prayer - connected to the quiet yet profound joy of the divine presence.

Here are a few small practices that have helped me. None are spectacular. They’re ordinary and repeatable, yet each in its own way connects us with something larger than ourselves - something consistent with how we’re wired to live, which is exactly why they work.

Simple, repeatable ways to create space for joy

1. Engage a stranger.

When I review my day, I often find the standout moment came from a brief, unexpected connection with a stranger - perhaps a smile on a morning walk or a chat with someone at the checkout. I don’t always find it easy to engage a stranger, but the discomfort quickly passes in the connection.

When we step out of our own small orbit to acknowledge another person, or even an animal, something inside us both softens and awakens. A quiet joy often rises when we let another know they are seen and valued, a joy that’s almost always mutual.

2. Restore a patch of beauty.

Whether it’s picking up a piece of rubbish in a public place, tidying a neglected corner, or setting a table with care, each time we tend to our surroundings, we participate in something larger than ourselves. We honour our quiet role as caretakers of the world we inhabit. Living in this way reconnects us with a deeper sense of belonging and brings a quiet, steady fulfilment to the soul.

3. Practise small generosities.

In daily life, there are countless moments when we can choose generosity over irritation: letting someone go ahead in traffic, quietly picking up someone’s bill at the café, or choosing to say a generous word when things are a little tense These small acts of generosity open and expand us. They soften the part of us that wants to rush, defend, or win. Each small act widens the space inside where joy can surface.

4. Touch the earth.

Run your hand over the grass, walk barefoot, feel a tree trunk, or let sand run through your fingers. Make conscious contact with this living world that has held wisdom far longer than we have. Such simple touch reminds us that we belong to something vast, ancient, and alive - helping us rise out of the narrow orbit of self.

5. Wake up your sense of smell.

Light a candle. Breathe in the scent of freshly brewed coffee, roses on your walk, or salt air at the beach. Scent goes straight to the limbic system; it can shift our inner weather without words.

6. Soak yourself in music that enlarges you.

Listen to music that stirs something wordless within you. Some songs create room where there was none a minute before. For many of us, music is the language of joy, it’s transcendent. It reminds us that joy can move through sound long before it reaches our words.

7. Send kindness quietly.

Hold someone in your heart for a few seconds. Offer them goodwill, blessing, or peace - whatever language feels true for you. Some would call this prayer; others might call it loving awareness. However you name it, these unseen gestures widen the space of our heart. They remind us that we are part of something shared, and that joy grows stronger when we nurture this thread between us. Here is an example of a practice you could follow.

These may sound simple, but they work. Not because they’re novel, but because they’re true to how the human spirit is made.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, nor a replacement for therapy, boundaries, or the deeper descents that life sometimes asks of us. It’s simply a collection of everyday ways to clear inner space so that joy can find us. I think of these practices as doorways to small, often hidden, jolts of joy. Practised over time, those small jolts accumulate and create a culture of the heart where joy can linger.

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I’d love to hear any thoughts this reflection may have stirred in you - you can comment below. And if you know someone who might benefit, feel free to share this with them.

— Dan.

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